“Mum Guilt” is costing families over £2,500 a year - and how to take back control

Recent research from Creditspring shows families spend an average of £209 per month on child-related extras, totaling over £2,500 a year. While these aren’t luxury purchases, they are often necessary for children to feel included at school and in social life.

Why mums feel the pressure

• Taking the lead: 56% of mums handle everyday spending for children, compared to 40% of dads.

• Financial worry: 77% of mums have worried about child-related costs in the last three months.

• Social influence: Nearly half of mums feel pressure from social media or parent groups to “keep up.”

For younger parents, the pressure is even higher. Those aged 18-24 report the most concern, with 91% saying they’ve recently felt stressed about spending.

How “mum guilt” affects spending

Feeling guilty about what your children have - or don’t have - can lead to:

• Overspending on birthdays and celebrations (mums report spending an extra £74 on average in just six months)

• Using credit cards or buy-now-pay-later options

• Cutting back on essentials like groceries

• Tension in household finances and relationships

Creditspring’s top tips to manage spending pressure

1. Recognise the pressure Pause before buying and ask: “Is this for my child, or because everyone else is doing it?”

2. Set a clear budget Agree with your partner or co-parent on what’s affordable for birthdays, trips, or activities.

3. Plan ahead Set aside a small monthly amount for school costs, clubs, and surprise activities.

4. Communicate with your children

• Explain that some activities have limits so they understand why certain choices are made.

• Involve older kids in budgeting decisions - let them help plan a party or activity within a set budget.

• Focus on experiences rather than spending: a homemade craft or day out can be just as special.

5. Focus on what matters Pick one meaningful activity or tradition - children remember time spent with you more than the money you spent.

6. Share and save Joint parties, “no-gift” invites, or borrowing decorations can ease the financial burden.

7. Take control of social media Mute or unfollow accounts that make you feel pressured and follow parenting content that feels realistic and supportive.

8. Celebrate small wins Acknowledge creative or low-cost ways your family has enjoyed activities - it reinforces positive habits without adding stress.

Spread costs across the month

Many parents find it helpful to break down spending by week rather than letting all costs hit at once. For example:

• Week 1: School clubs and supplies

• Week 2: Birthday gifts or party prep

• Week 3: Family days out or activities

• Week 4: Savings for upcoming trips or events

This simple approach reduces last-minute financial pressure and helps children understand planning and priorities.

Final thoughts

Raising children is full of joyful moments, but the small extras add up. By setting boundaries, planning ahead, and prioritising what matters, parents can enjoy these experiences without the stress and guilt.